The return of Friday Night Poker

Ok Ok.....it was more like the return of me....I actually showed up at the game on Friday night....and was completely demoralized and miserable. I was getting absolutely shit cards....and felt like all I was doing all night was putting money into the pot for other people.

Everything I folded ---hit, and everything I tried to play, missed. It got so bad that at one point, I thought I would have to start drinking (I'm currently off alcohol)just to have fun.

Then when I lost my first $20, I REALLY wanted to leave, but peer pressure got to me, and I bought back in. After about one more hour of misery, I got a pair of Jacks, and there was only one other person in the hand with me....and he raised $9.75 on the river.....I thought about it...and after a minute or two....said, "I'm sick of this shit tonight..." as I watched in "horror" at myself calling! When there were two queens on the board also! And I ended up winning about $33.00 with that hand.

What was the most interesting about that was....that I had lost so many hands throughout the night, that at that point, I really didn't give a shit anymore...and if I had lost...it would have been nothing new. But I did have to risk more than half of my stack to win....and the other guy in the hand knew that I am the quickest one to assume that someone has the best possible hand...and I have no doubt that he expected me to fold.

Which led me to realize that I fold way too much....because there are certain people that trigger a fear/anxiety response in me. Something in their personality or the way they bet touches a nerve, and I go into fight or flight---which with poker usually results in my folding.

Of course, assuming the "best" of people gets me into trouble too. I know people bluff...but I assumed that this guy probably did have a third queen...or even a fullhouse...and that is why I would have folded....except that I was on tilt...and called. And this particular guy, I'm sure, has bluffed me out of many winning hands.

So I gotta work on not letting my fear response get triggered so easily. It definitely happens almost equally with men as with women...so at least I'm balanced there! It is a different fear response with men and women though.